


Admit It

by zebraljb



Series: Hershey Kisses [18]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Banter, First Dates, First Kiss, M/M, Missing Persons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 23:53:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17838425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: PROMPT - An awkward kiss on a first date.Merlin and Eggsy are dating in every way...except that their first date is a complete disaster.  Before they can remedy that, Eggsy is sent off on a mission and Merlin might never get to the chance to fix it.





	Admit It

ADMIT IT

“So.” Roxy swirls the straw in her drink. “When were you going to tell me?”

“Tell you what?” Eggsy stares at her in confusion. “If it’s about what yer wearin’, ya know damn well I’m always gonna say ya look fantastic, cuz ya always do.”

“Of course I do,” Roxy says regally. “I meant about Merlin.”

“Merlin?” Eggsy knows his ears probably physically perk up. “What about him? Is he okay?”

“He’s fine. As you well know. I just wondered when you were going to tell me that you two…are you two.”

“Two what?”

“Oh my God.” Roxy smacks herself in the forehead, then smacks Eggsy.

“Oi!”

“When did you make it official? You’re an item…you’re boyfriends or lovers or whatever men over the age of thirty call their significant other.”

“Rox,” Eggsy says slowly. “Me an’ Merlin ain’t…we ain’t me an’ Merlin. I mean, I’m me, an’ he’s Merlin, but, yeah. No relationship. Other than friends.”

It’s her turn to stare in confusion. “Eggsy, listen to me. You spend time together at work, even when you’re not officially working together. You spend time together OUTSIDE of work. You watch football. You go drinking together. You introduced him to your mother and sister.”

“I sorta had ta…he was at tha flat installin’ security or sommat an’ they showed up!”

“He’s Merlin, Eggsy. Why is he installing security cameras and not delegating that to a minion?”

“Cuz I told him I’d make him dinner after.”

“You don’t make me dinner.”

“That’s cuz I don’t keep caviar an’ champagne around tha flat.”

“Bastard.” She smacks his arm. “But…” She heaves a sigh and he frowns. “I suppose you’re right. I mean, he is terribly old.”

“Oi, he ain’t that old. He’s three years younger than Harry, ya know.”

“So that makes Harry a dinosaur and Merlin a younger dinosaur. And his legs, well…they’re quite…scrawny.”

“No they ain’t. Have ya seen his calves? I mean, fuck me.”

“His nose is…it’s…well…”

“He has a gorgeous profile.”

“His eyes…they’re blue, right?”

“Christ, Roxy…they’re hazel.”

“Really.” She leans back in her chair and smiles at him and Eggsy knows he’s fucked.

“So, yeah, Merlin is well fit, so?”

“Eggsy, sweetheart.” She leans toward him again and takes his hands. “You went through so much together with V-Day, and now you’ve only gotten closer. You have feelings for him, and I’m fairly certain they’re reciprocated.”

Eggsy thinks on that for a moment. It’s not like he hasn’t thought about it…a lot. “Well, what do I do, then?”

“Ask him out.”

 

“So…I know Eggsy’s asked for a few days off before starting his mission next week.” Harry elegantly stirs his tea. “Will you be going away for a few days, or staying around town?”

“I will be here at work. Doing my job. Not all of us can take the mantle of Arthur and then order people around.” Merlin rolls his eyes. “Which ye are rather good at, by the way.”

“I am good at many things,” Harry says serenely. “But free time with Eggsy.”

“I have nothing to do with Eggsy or his free time, except making sure he has some.” Merlin shakes his head. “Ye are nae making sense, Harry. Are ye due for a doctor’s visit?”

“No,” Harry snaps. “I just figured since he’s your, well…paramour, you’d spend a few of those days with him. He’s going to be gone a week, Merlin.”

“I am aware of that, Harry, I organized the mission. And since when is Eggsy my ‘paramour,’ and since when do ye talk like a romance novelist?”

“Since…” Harry blinks at him. “Christ, Merlin, are you so unaware?”

“Unaware of what?”

“Merlin, you and Eggsy…you look at each other, and sparks actually fly. You are close friends, yet there is an intimacy to that friendship unlike anything I’ve seen with you before. It’s definitely not there between you and I. You touch each other, you smile into each other’s eyes.”

“Ye are definitely insane, and I am scheduling you for that physical immediately.” Merlin starts banging at his clipboard.

“Oh, so you’re not an item? That is wonderful news. I have some free time coming up. Perhaps I will speak to Eggsy myself, ask if I can take him to dinner.” Harry sips at his tea but watches Merlin over the top of the cup.

“I beg your pardon?” Merlin glares at him.

“Well, if you aren’t an item…it will not be a problem for me to, well, spend some quality time with him. He’s not unattractive, we get along famously, of course, and I’m sure he is quite…energetic…in the bedroom.”

“Ye will do no such thing, Harry Hart!” Merlin thunders. “I will nae allow ye to use him to scratch whatever deplorable itch ye think ye have!”

“Well, then for God’s sake, open your eyes and ask him out on a date!” Harry snaps. “You’re practically dating anyway. I know he cares for you in such a manner, so do it!”

“I…” Merlin blinks. “Good God, what’s wrong with me, Harry?”

“How long a list am I permitted to give you?”

 

Eggsy hesitates outside Merlin’s door before knocking. “Come in.”

He straightens his jacket and goes in. “Morning, Merlin.”

“Good morning, Eggsy.” Merlin’s face lights up and Eggsy wonders what kind of mental sunglasses he had on that kept him from seeing this. “I…I was actually going to ask ye to come see me later. I had a question…”

“Would ya like ta go out on a date sometime?” Eggsy blurts. Merlin looks horrified. “Fuck. Ya know what? Pretend I never said anything, all right? Not enough caffeine yet today.” He practically runs to the table at the side of the room.

“Lad, wait.” Merlin is across the room in three strides and takes his arm. “Are…are ye serious? Because that is what I wanted to talk to ye about.”

“No. Yes? Uh, why?”

“Harry says…Harry says I care about ye as more than a friend.” Merlin shifts uncomfortably.

“Roxy says that about me. And you, I mean.”

“Well…” Merlin clears his throat. “I would like to take ye out to dinner.”

“But I asked YOU out.”

“But I’m older, and I shall take ye out.”

“Yer older? So what? Don’t mean yer in charge,” Eggsy snaps.

“It most certainly does. Tell me, Eggsy, do ye like the idea of me telling ye what to do in the bedroom?”

“Fuck, yeah,” Eggsy says before he thinks. They stare at one another. 

“I will pick ye up Friday evening at seven. Dress nice.”

“I will.” Eggsy storms out and goes to hide in his office.

 

Merlin fidgets outside Eggsy’s door before ringing the bell. “Hi there,” Eggsy says as soon as he opens it. “Fuck, ye look nice,” he say in amazement. “I don’t even recognize ya.”

“Well, I figured you deserved the suit,” Merlin says shyly. “I have a car…are ye ready?”

“I am.” Eggsy closes the door and locks it, and follows Merlin down the pavement to the car. Merlin actually holds the door for him. “Jesus, yer never this nice to me any other time.”

“Don’t get used to it.” 

Merlin’s hands are sweaty when he gets behind the wheel of the car. Eggsy’s wearing one of his bespoke suits, something Merlin’s seen hundreds of times. He gives Eggsy a nervous smile and starts the car. “So…where we goin’?”

“A restaurant Harry recommended. Ye like Italian, I believe?”

“Love it.” Eggsy doesn’t smile, however, and simply stares out the windshield. 

“Are…are ye sure? We can go somewhere else. Anywhere ye like. I should have consulted with ye…”

“No, it’s fine, Merlin, swear down.” Eggsy tentatively reaches for Merlin’s free hand and he quickly swipes it away and clutches the steering wheel. No need for Eggsy to get a palm full of sweat. Eggsy frowns again and looks out the window.

They reach the restaurant and leave the car with the valet, and Merlin wants more than anything to put a hand at the small of Eggsy’s back and lead him inside. Instead he allows Eggsy to simply walk in front of him, although he has to lean over him to speak to the maitre’d about the reservation. They’re led to a tiny table in the corner. “Do ye not have something a bit…bigger?”

“I’m sorry, sir, this is all we have at the moment.” 

“It’s fine, guv, really,” Eggsy promises.

Except it’s NOT fine. Their conversation is stilted, Merlin almost spills his wine, and Eggsy doesn’t like the entrée he’s ordered. The room is beautiful, the ambiance perfect, but they’re both acting as if they’ve been matched on some sort of ridiculous television dating show. When the waiter offers dessert, Merlin simply says, “We’ll take the check,” without asking Eggsy if he’d like anything else.

What a disaster.

 

What a disaster, Eggsy thinks as they climb back into Merlin’s car. He’d been so nervous about the date that he’d gotten ready an hour early, and then Merlin didn’t even compliment how he looked. Merlin looks stunning of course; the man really needs to wear suits more often. The restaurant they go to is definitely nothing Eggsy is interested in, and he hadn’t realized Merlin ate at places like this, either. The food costs a fortune, and as he eats a simple plate of pasta all Eggsy can think about is that Merlin’s hard-earned money is being wasted on something like this, on him. He almost gets sauce on his tie, and Merlin doesn’t even ask him if he wants dessert. He simply signs for the check and jumps to his feet. 

He always has a good time with Merlin. They laugh and joke and quietly judge everyone around them. They share greasy entrees and swap glasses of beer. Maybe…maybe a romantic relationship isn’t in the cards for them. Maybe Roxy’s an idiot. She’s never been an idiot before, but these things can happen. “So…ya gonna walk me to my door? Seems like the gentlemanly thing ta do,” Eggsy teases as they pull up in front of his building.”

“If ye wish,” Merlin says simply, and tears actually jump to Eggsy’s eyes. He has them wiped away by the time Merlin comes around to open his door. They silently go up the pavement, Eggsy unlocks the door, and they step inside.

“Should…would ya like a cup of coffee?” Eggsy asks timidly.

“Nae, lad, thank ye. I best be getting home.”

“Well, thank you,” Eggsy says finally. He cannot bring himself to say he had a nice time. 

“Of course. Any time.” Merlin pauses and leans in.

Their noses smash against each other as their lips meet and Merlin yanks himself back so hard he almost falls over. “I’m sorry!” Eggsy says immediately. “I ain’t used ta kissin’ someone so tall.”

“Nae, it is my fault. This beak of mine…” Merlin touches his nose and looks miserable. “I will see ye before ye leave on your mission.”

“All right.” He watches as Merlin practically runs for the car. Eggsy closes the door and leans against it, slowly sliding to the floor.

Merlin makes sure he isn’t alone with Eggsy again before he leaves on his mission. He’s totally embarrassed and wants to kill Harry for making him think this could work. He knows deep down, however, that it’s not Harry’s fault. It’s his. How could he have thought that Eggsy wanted him as anything other than a good friend. The three of them meet for one final briefing before Eggsy heads down to the hangar.

“Have a save trip and be careful, my boy.” Harry hugs Eggsy with an ease that makes Merlin envious. He couldn’t even give the lad a good night kiss. Harry could probably fuck him right then and there on Merlin’s desk and make it look like a work of art.

“Yes, Gareth…have a safe trip and be careful,” Merlin says primly.

“I will.” Eggsy bites his bottom lip. “I…”

“Wheels up in twenty,” Merlin reminds him. Eggsy nods and leaves the office.

“What the hell did you do?” Harry demands. “He won’t tell me anything except you had a date, and you’re not having another one.”

“That about sums it up,” Merlin says. “I would appreciate if ye no longer meddled in my romantic life, Harry.”

“That’s absurd, Merlin. You…” Harry sees something on Merlin’s face, because he simply says, “As you wish, Merlin.”

Merlin waits until Eggsy’s safely landed in Cairo before going on comms and taking over from his staff. He’s planned this mission from beginning to end, and no matter what, they work well together in the field. Eggsy lands as planned, infiltrates the compound as planned, and plants the bugs and takes the photos as planned. He also manages to swipe a few pieces of intel, which was NOT planned but Merlin eagerly accepts.

What also isn’t planned is Eggsy’s comms going dark along with the entire compound’s electric system three days into the mission. Merlin says, “Gareth, report, Gareth,” until he’s hoarse. No response.

Eggsy is missing.

 

Harry and Merlin use every bit of tech they can to find Eggsy to no avail. Harry calls in a few favors, contacts a few people in Africa. Nothing. Twelve hours go by. Twenty-four. Thirty-six. Roxy actually begs Harry to allow her to fly to Egypt but he refuses. Merlin thinks he’s going to have to erase her clearance for the hangar but she finally accepts Harry’s decision and leaves the office. 

Merlin paces his office, yelling at his staff through his glasses and wracking his brain for any ideas. Harry doesn’t leave his side, alternating between taking catnaps on a chair and calling people he thinks might know something. Normally Arthur would not take this much of a personal interest in an agent, but this is different. This is Eggsy, who is now like a son to Harry. 

Merlin sits down and eats small meals but only because Harry threatens to dart him and have him admitted to Medical. On the fourth day he toys with his soup and says quietly, “The date was a disaster and it was all my fault. I was so bloody nervous…I acted like the robot everyone accused me of being.”

“Merlin,” Harry says in astonishment. “I’m sure you didn’t…”

“He tried to hold my hand and I hid it because it was sweaty. I did nae compliment him on his suit because as always I was overcome by how handsome he looked. He did nae like the food and I swept him out of the restaurant without a by-your-leave.”

“Merlin, Eggsy wouldn’t have minded all that…he would have been happy in a pub with fish and chips.”

“I know that now. I thought I should wine and dine him so that he know how I felt about him. Now I know it was ridiculous, because he was nae interested in me like that.” Merlin smiles sadly. “I could nae even kiss him right. A simple good night kiss and I cocked it up.”

“He doesn’t see it that way,” Harry says. Merlin studies him and waits. “He told me…he told me he embarrassed you by complimenting you, that he was nervous at dinner and almost wore his food, and that he didn’t eat his meal because he was too shocked at the prices and ordered the cheapest thing he could find, which he didn’t like. He didn’t want you spending an exorbitant amount of money on him. He said he felt small and stupid when you kissed good night, like a little boy pretending to be a man.”

“Christ,” Merlin says, burying his face in his hands. “We are a couple of idiots.” He lifts his head a bit. “What if I never have the chance to tell him, Harry?”

“We’re doing all we can,” Harry reminds him. 

Finally all avenues are exhausted and all they can do is wait. All comms route into Merlin’s office and he refuses to leave it. He has a small loo adjoining his office and he uses it and washes up at the sink, but otherwise he isn’t leaving. Harry refuses to leave until Merlin does, and curls up on Merlin’s sofa. By the sixth day Roxy is spending extra time in the office as well, and Harry finally gives Merlin a defeated look.

“Nae, Arthur,” Merlin growls. “I don’t care.”

“What?” Roxy whispers.

“After an agent goes missing for a week, we cut back on attempts to locate them,” Harry murmurs. “Protocol.”

“Fuck protocol. I will continue to search for Agent Gareth, using all means necessary.” Merlin glares at Harry. “I know there are at least three people connected with the dark web we can reach out to, Harry.”

“I will not contact criminals.”

“Ye’ve done it before.”

“I wasn’t Arthur.” They glare at each other for a moment before Harry says, “You’re not the only person who loves him, Hamish.” Merlin hears Roxy gasp at the sound of his given name. He can always dart her later. 

“I realize that, Harry. But I never got the chance to make up for that horrendous date, to tell him it wasn’t just…”

“I know all about not getting the chance to tell someone something before it’s too late,” Harry murmurs. “And I…” He makes an irritated face and taps the side of his glasses. “Arthur. I’m quite busy at the moment and I…all right.” He looks at Merlin. “Tristan is on the line…could you direct the call onto your video screen?”

“Of course.” Merlin wearily taps at his keyboard.

“Hello, Arthur, Merlin…Lancelot.” Tristan holds his glasses in his hands and looks into them. “I’m very sorry to bother you, but I’ve come across something in Israel that you might be interested in seeing.”

“As I said, I am quite busy at the moment.” Harry’s voice isn’t rude, but it’s very close.

“Harry, the last time YOU were in Israel you almost got arrested,” Merlin points out.

“I do believe that was due to bad intel.”

“Oi, don’t you two ever fuckin’ quit?” They all jump to their feet and stare at the screen as Tristan puts his glasses on correctly. A very weak, very dirty Eggsy Unwin grins up at them from a bed. 

“Eggsy?” Roxy gasps.

“Sorry it took me so long…glasses were blown ta shite an’ I had no way ta contact ya. Made it ta Isael, remembered Tristan’s stationed there.” Eggsy looks at Merlin. “Uh, sorry about the glasses, bruv.”

“We will talk when ye get home, agent.”

“Right.” Eggsy looks at Harry. “Sorry the mission went tits up, Arthur.”

“Just get home safely, Gareth. We will talk about it then.”

“We’ll be on a plane within a few hours, sir,” they hear Tristan say.

“Good. See ye both then.” Merlin turns off the screen and stares at his desk.

“Thank God.” Roxy sounds like she’s about to burst into tears.

“Now can I can focus on the other missions I’ve been neglecting,” Merlin say. “If ye will excuse me.”

“I most certainly will not,” Harry growls. “You have been up for days, surviving on fear and energy drinks.” He nods at Roxy, who twists the top of her watch and taps it.

“Oh for…” Merlin manages before he hits the floor.

 

He awakens on his sofa ten hours later. “Eggsy,” he whispers as soon as he gets his bearings. He hops to his feet and barrels out of the room, mentally cursing Harry along the way. He hurries to Medical and is stopped by a nurse. “I need to see Agent Gareth.”

“He’s resting.”

“I dinnae say I needed to talk to him, just…see him.”

“Very well.” She steps aside and points Merlin in the right directly.

He slowly opens the door to Eggsy’s room and stands by the bed. Eggsy looks younger when he’s sleeping, and Merlin just wants to wrap him up in a blanket and never let him go. There’s a cast on his left forearm, and bruises on his face, but otherwise he looks to be all right. Merlin gasps when Eggsy’s eyes slowly open. “Merlin,” he says with a sleepy grin.

Merlin’s embarrassed to be caught watching him sleep. “Of all the absolutely ridiculous…I send ye in the field with tech expecting ye to bring it home, agent!” Merlin all but yells.

“Merlin…” Eggsy struggles to sit up. “I said I’m sorry. If that ain’t enough…”

“No. It ‘ain’t enough,’ as ye say. I send ye in the field expecting ye, and the tech, to come home safe. I dinnae expect ye to drop off the face of the planet and go wandering around the Middle East, ye fucking idiot.”

“Well, it ain’t like I wanted ta…” Eggsy stares into Merlin’s face and stops talking. Merlin doesn’t even try to stop the tear that slides down his cheek. “Merlin?”

“I’m sorry about the date and I’m sorry about being a total prick and I’m sorry I didn’t give ye a proper good night kiss,” Merlin babbles.

“It’s…it’s all right.” Eggsy slowly smiles up at him as he stands up.

“Don’t…”

“I’m fine.” He weaves on his feet the tiniest bit and Merlin carefully rests his hands on Eggsy’s shoulders to steady him.

“Dinnae ever do this again, agent. Dinnae ever make me think that my tech…and the man I love…are nae coming home,” Merlin whispers.

“Understood.” Eggsy smiles up at him with a dazed expression. “I’m sorry, too…I’m shite at first dates, apparently…wanted everything ta go just right.”

“Aye, myself as well.” Merlin trails his thumbs over Eggsy’s face. “I was so caught up in the idea of what a first date should be that I did nae think things through.” Merlin cups Eggsy’s face in his hands and gives him a long, sweet, tender kiss. Eggsy wraps his good arm around Merlin’s body and stands on tiptoe to kiss him. “Ye kiss someone taller than you just fine.”

“And yer nose don’t get in the way of nothin’. I love yer nose.” Eggsy runs his finger over the nose in question. 

“Once ye are released I am taking ye home with me. We’ll order in Thai and watch telly and cuddle on the sofa.”

“Best date night ever,” Eggsy says with a dreamy smile.

“Best date night ever,” Merlin agrees.


End file.
